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It’s odd how what other people see as a waste of time is insightful for me and has changed my perspective on things. Whether it be bickering couples or day-to-day lives, as usual, your girl loves listing, and today’s list will be in the form of the things I have learned from one of my go-to series, One Day At A Time.

A bit of background about the series: The series portrays a Cuban-American family where three generations live under one roof. Like any sitcom, this one follows the characters going through day-to-day life with their ‘normal’ struggles or, to some, may be abnormal. Penelope is a single mother trying to raise her kids, Elena and Alex, with her own parenting style while living with her mother, Lydia, who has… some might say, really strong opinions. Other important side characters are Schneider (their landlord) and Dr Berkowitz (Penelope’s boss who happens to be in love with Lydia, though his feelings are not reciprocated).

Penelope struggles with depression and anxiety both due to genetics and trauma from serving her country as a veteran soldier. Schneider, on the other hand, struggles with alcoholism and is currently on a sober streak of eight amazing years. The kids and Lydia also have their respective challenges to overcome, such as the coming-of-age and, simply, change.

So, some foundation is laid; now, when I talk about the series, there might be spoilers, so this is your official spoiler alert warning. If you plan on watching the series and do not want any spoilers, bookmark this article and come back when you’re done. If you’re just here to kill time, let’s get into it!

#1 Generational differences require understanding from all sides

In this series, there are frequent situations where the three generations of the family have different interpretations of things: Elena, the granddaughter; Penelope, the mother; and Lydia, also known affectionately as Abuela, the grandmother. One of the most significant scenes I remember is where Elena was explaining her experience of being catcalled and how it was terrifying for her.

In this episode, Elena hated the fact that whenever the issue of sexual harassment is brought up, there is more focus on women than men. “Girls, don’t walk alone at night. Girls, don’t wear revealing clothes. How about boys, stop being a predator,” to quote Elena. Even though Elena was clearly explaining her frustrations, Abuela felt like being catcalled is a compliment. According to Abuela, whoever was the most catcalled was essentially the prettiest. Penelope, however, tried to bridge this gap by explaining to Abuela why things are different in this day and age.

I realised that a lot of the time when we argue with people from a different generation, we tend to think they lack knowledge, are out of touch, or are simply ignorant. At the same time, there might be a difference in their surroundings when they were growing up. While the elder generations have been here the whole time, they might not have necessarily followed these changes, since they would more commonly be with people of their generation, just like we do.

Moving forward, what’s important is listening to the other side before throwing accusations. It does not facilitate the discussion when we dismiss the perspectives of others as an unwillingness to change. We can agree to disagree, and at the end of the day, it is a learning process for everyone. Things we may see as common sense might not be common sense to other people due to a multitude of reasons, whether it is age, circumstances, family, or their upbringing. Remember, two people could be staring at the same coin but are seeing different sides. 

#2 When we are in a treatment plan, we are not capable of deciding when to stop it BY OURSELVES.

In season 2, episode 9 “Hello, Penelope”, Penelope decided her life was going so well, that she could now stop attending her weekly group therapy with other veterans and go off her medication. Yes, she went rogue because things were going great. If you’re a patient like me, you have probably considered this at some point.

At first, things were looking good for Penelope. Nothing bizarre happened. Then, she started overanalysing every single thing she did. When she made a joke about nuns while giving a CPR course to students in a catholic school, though no one pointed out anything bad, she started freaking out — this was the first warning sign viewers saw. Towards the end of the episode, she was in bed, not going to work, skipping a meal with her boyfriend’s parents, and staying in the dark.

This episode never fails to make me cry because I, too, still end up where Penelope ended up that day. She started recording a voice memo entitled “Hello, Penelope”. This is a technique that we can use when we are in our depressive, manic, or any episode to track our thoughts in the moment. Listening back gives us clarity to realise that the person in the recording is not okay. It also helps us understand what our thought process was once we get out of the dark situation. So, to all the people who are opposed to recording yourselves, reconsider this technique that we can use to better ourselves.

At the end of the episode, Penelope decided that she was going to restart both therapy and medication. She realised that she should not be deciding these decisions alone and neither should we. If you feel like you no longer need as many therapy sessions, discuss it with your therapist; if you want to stop taking medication, discuss it with your doctors because they know better, at least in this particular area. There is no shame in seeking help from others; oftentimes, they are more than happy to lend a helping hand.

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I would like to end this article with a simple reminder that a lot of the things we do daily, whether as students, workers, teachers or otherwise, are always just us doing the best we can. That applies to everyone else around us, and everyone’s best looks different. We never know when someone is having a bad day or struggling, so be kind and focus on your own progress rather than how everyone else treats or judges you. Most importantly, remember to take life one day at a time.