Blog

graphic of person sitting down and looking out to a colourful forest and starry sky
“The two worlds” — original art by the author.

The Here and Now (In Between Two Worlds)

Astra

Astra serves as a reminder that limitations do not bind the individual's beliefs and aspirations, and they hold the power to reach the stars, regardless of the perils on the journey. Each time an Astra is signed at the bottom of their verbis, it represents a renewal of their sense of purpose and motivation, akin to re-gleaming their own beacon.

“Selamat pulang ke tanah air”—these words strike a chord within the hearts of many Malaysians; I am no exception. This is the phrase I have yearned to echo in my ears and heart again since I first touched down in KLIA after a year of loss, solitude, and sorrow in my distant home, the UK.

The myriad of emotions of returning home begins to blossom from the moment you purchase your plane tickets and then fully bloom as soon as you hear the captain’s announcement stating you have arrived in Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia. Your clustered and cathartic mind stills the moment your sneaker-clad foot touches the vast, tiled floors of the airport terminals. Walking hand in hand with your trusty wheeled suitcase and a gazillion little paper bags filled with trinkets for your loved ones back home, along with the novelties of a smile etched on your face and a heart pulsing once more. “Selamat pulang, adik”, a welcoming warmth that signifies the unity and hospitality of Malaysians, uttered by a stranger to another stranger, but who welcomes you does not matter; what matters is that we are back home.

Enveloped by the sense of home, I felt present in the land where I was born, where laughter peaks, where loved ones live, and where devotion prevails even an ocean away—in the land of Malaysia. The resonance of my mother tongue, beautifully and eloquently spoken, filled me with pride. It was a reminder of the affectionate way of speech that I had taken for granted while away in the Anglosphere. And yet, even in Malaysia, another language dominates my tongue; it was unfortunate how much I had lost that native diction. Even in Malaysia, the culture I have soaked up from the months away seeped its way into my surroundings, slowly eroding the opulence of my Malaysian culture. Even in Malaysia, I craved the maritime climate of my newfound faraway home, whining at the clamminess the Malaysian weather had gifted me. Now, in England, my mind is entrapped in the vivid sights, sounds, and smells of Malaysia, and today I grieve the lacklustre of a verdant Malaysia in a nation ten thousand miles away from home. My mind is bustling from one memory to another, everywhere and nowhere all at once. In the here and now, my heart is caught between two worlds, and I mourn the loss of one home while being in another.

Reconciling with old memories of my ‘tanah air’, I lost track of the floral splendour present in the here and now as the spring season unfolds in the UK. Spring, a time of renewal and growth, teaches us that mother nature does not lament the passing of winter but instead flourishes in anticipation of the coming season. In the midst of feeling displaced or homesick, the explosion of vibrant colours in blooming flowers serves as a poignant gesture to pause and fully embrace the present moment.

As I reflect on mother nature’s beauty as of late beholds, it brings to mind the newest research on nature’s healing powers. The study reveals that immersing ourselves in nature’s embrace can shield us from stress, depression, and anxiety, bolstering our immunity and heart rate. But beyond the tangible benefits, being present and mindful is an age-old practice that has long sowed its roots in spiritual growth. Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, the famed Buddhist monk and founder of Plum Village, whispers: “The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments.” In Islam, mindfulness is known as Tafakkur, where deep introspection and reflection on God’s creation open the path to self-discovery and a more profound connection with our Creator. Being mindful helps us recognise the wonders of this world and our place in it, fostering self-awareness and an appreciation for life’s fleeting moments.

“Selamat pulang ke tanah air”—a phrase evermore sketched onto the many layers of my heart. However, now I am comforted in the knowledge of having two homes; no longer lost in the yearning for what was, but instead grounded in the beauty of the present. With this phrase, I hold onto the hope that a part of Malaysia will always be with me regardless of my journey. Surrounded by the lush foliage of your ‘tanah air’ or the vibrant springtime in the UK, remind yourself to pause, breathe, and embrace. You are at once heartened by the power of the here and now.

 

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